Information for men who date trans women

Summary

  • Many men are proudly enjoying romantic or sexual relationships with trans women and trans feminine people. Despite this, reliable dating and relationship advice can be hard to come by.
  • This website provides practical advice and real stories to help you be more respectful, supportive and proud. Check out our tip sheets in the menu on the left.
  • Exploring genuine connections with trans women can lead to fun shared experiences and healthy relationships. Unfortunately, widespread negative beliefs about trans people can create challenges.

More and more men are proudly enjoying romantic or sexual relationships with trans women and trans feminine people. Despite this, reliable dating and relationship advice can be hard to come by.

This website provides practical advice and real stories to help you be more respectful, supportive, and proud. Check out our tip sheets in the menu on the left.

Exploring genuine connections with trans women can lead to fun shared experiences and healthy relationships. Unfortunately, widespread negative beliefs about trans people can create challenges.

We spoke to trans women and they told us some of the things they would like in a relationship:

  • For their partners and dates to feel proud of being with them
  • To be taken on dates and to be treated with the same respect as other women
  • To be introduced to men’s family and friends
  • To be seen as a whole person, rather than just as a sexual object or as a fantasy
  • To be treated respectfully before, during and after sex
  • To feel free to express their gender in ways that are authentic to them, and not pressured to be extremely feminine
  • To be supported to make choices around their bodies that’s right for them rather than what men desire
  • For men to understand that all trans women are different with their own stories
  • For men to understand the experiences of trans women and stand up for them.

We also spoke to men who date or hook up with trans women and they told us some things that they wanted us to share with other men:

  • Relationships with trans women can be fulfilling, fun, and loving
  • You are not alone. Lots of men date trans women, including straight and bi men.
  • The only person who can define your sexuality is you
  • If you are in a healthy and loving relationship it doesn’t matter what other people think
  • Committing to long term relationships with trans women is worthwhile
  • If you and your partner work together as a team you can overcome other people’s negative opinions about your relationship
  • Men who treated trans women with disrespect often regretted it later in life
  • Connecting with other men who respect trans women will help you feel less lonely
  • Get help from supportive people or access supportive information when things are hard
  • All men should stand up and defend the rights of transgender women.

If you want to learn how to be a better lover or partner and enjoy more successful dates, check out our tip sheets by clicking on the links below.

Tip sheets for men:

The more you learn, the better your relationships will be.

Want to know it all? Click here to read the full website “Information for men who date trans women”.

* “Men” in this resource refers to cisgender men. “Trans women” refers to trans women, trans feminine people, women who have a trans and gender diverse history or experience, but do not identify as transgender - and other trans feminine culturally-specific identities such as Sistergirls, Fa’afafine and Kinner.

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© 2021 Zoe Belle Gender Collective
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